This year as well, we are accepting orders for domestic shipping for a limited time as usual.
My luggage is already packed and I'm wondering if I can carry it.
I will do my best until the very last moment.
In recent years, I've been going home around this time of the year as a bit of a habit.
There is a reason for this,
There are some kind of memorial service held every year.
We are a very small family, so I can't afford for my few relatives (especially my daughter) to be absent. I mean,
Otoo says, ``You don't have to come,'' but I'm not convinced.
In years when mom doesn't have a memorial service, she spends time with grandma, grandpa, etc.
At this age, I have many such responsibilities, and the only happy event I had was my cousin's wedding last year.
This year is the milestone 10th anniversary.
My family is from Kagoshima, so we follow Shintoism, and apparently the way we count years is a little different from Buddhism.
Anyway, it's already been 10 years.
It seems like a long time, but it goes by in the blink of an eye.
I worried about my mother to the point of death, and I wondered if she actually died because of me. I thought. (I still think so)
To be honest, it took me 4.5 years to recover.
Even now, just thinking about it makes me cry.
Moreover, in a way that no one expected, he suddenly passed away in an instant.
I had nothing but regret.
In the middle of the night, I received an email from my father,
My father and son are really blunt, so they don't call or email, but...
One sentence in the email said, ``Your mother has died, so please come home.''
I couldn't believe it because I hadn't even thought about dying in the slightest, so I called home right away.
I could just hear his voice, and even though I couldn't see him, I could imagine him so weak he could barely sit still.
I feel like I can barely make a sound,
"Because that's what it is. The funeral will be waiting for you," he said.
The next day, I quickly got the earliest ticket to Japan, and the earliest I could leave was the next day, and due to the time difference, I arrived the next day.
I was in such a hurry, but it had already been three days since I called.
It was September, so it was still hot, and if you left it at home, it would spoil, so when I met her, it was in a large refrigerator at the funeral hall.
I don't think I've ever cried so much before, and probably never will.
I've been crying nonstop for over a week now, and even when I thought it had stopped, I kept crying,
Well, I thought it would make me cry so much.
It's already been 10 years since then.
My mother had a very nervous and serious personality,
If anything, I think that for a girl like myself, who is carefree and carefree, this was nothing more than cause for concern.
The happiest thing for a girl is to give birth to a child and start a family.
I was told this all the time, but just when I thought I was married, I got divorced and went abroad...and then I came back! !
But it's not like I'm doing something in France that I absolutely have to stay in,
==Besides, it seems like a pain, isn't it? ? ==
I think it was difficult for me to understand. I don't think they understood it until the end.
That's right, because I'm doing the complete opposite. (even now)
Furthermore, at the time, I had quit my previous job as a used clothing buyer and was unemployed in a foreign country (actually, I was preparing to start my current job, or maybe it was just my first time).
The last time I met him, he was hiding that situation. It'll just make me worry even more.
The mom I saw at home a while back was the one in the picture with me at the entrance ceremony when I was in high school, and I feel like she's probably younger than me now.
Compared to that, what on earth am I doing now? .
Even after 10 years
I can't help but feel the slightest bit of regret over something like this,
People are destined to die from the moment they are born, which means that their relatives may die. I learned that.
In fact, when Otoo passes away someday, I will be able to cheerfully accept it, although I may have some of Otoo's personality.
, I feel like that.
I have many different families, and my life doesn't belong to my parents, so...
I thought that the best way to show filial piety to your parents is to not die before your parents do.
Exactly, a scratch on anything other than death. Yes.
As I quickly look back on 10 years ago,
We also look back at Showa songs. Oh, wonderful.
Even now, it's a popular song from the 80's.
By the way, mom's favorite is the ruby ring.
There's a popular song from the 80's and 90's that I want to say. I want to say it right now.
It's a waste, but I'll say it. I'll say it right now.
Popular songs from the Showa era tend to end with "Lalala, Ruluru~.Turutu~".